The FI and I decided pretty early on that we were going to write our own vows. This stemmed on the fact that we really wanted a family member or friend to officiate our ceremony. You see, neither of us are very religious and we don’t attend church. We weren’t raised that way either. It only seemed natural that we have a friend take care of the ceremony in a way that truly represents us. And, it only seemed natural that we write our own vows. Both of these elements, we feel, will really help to make the ceremony “ours” and personalized in a way that is a reflection of our relationship.
We are at the point right now where our decision is in each of us writing our own separate vows or writing our vows together so that we both make the same promises to each other. Their are pros and cons to both (if that is even possible).
If we write our vows separately, it will allow for us to tell the story of our relationship from our own perspectives. It will be from our individual voices, and a true representation of the relationship from each side. However, this could also result in our vows being so vastly different in tone, that they don’t complement each other. Not only that, but each could differ in length. There are ways to prevent that, which include having a family member or friend reading each of our vows beforehand to let us know if we need to make any tweaks. I’m not really a fan of that idea, as I want our vows to be an element of surprise (a loving surprise) for our guests.
If we write our vows together, we can collaborate on what to say and choose words that mean a lot to the both of us. It will also ensure that the tone is consistent and length is just right. BUT, the downside here is that what I say to him won’t be a surprise and same for what he says to me.
I like the idea of having his vows and words be fresh and new on our wedding day. I also like the idea of us making the same promises to each other. So, we’re stuck, to say the least. We have plenty of time to go back and forth on this, but it’s something I think about regularly, especially when I am at a wedding or perusing the pages of the internet.
How about you? Will you want to write your own vows or stick to tradition and use the standard vows at your ceremony?
