I recently read a post by the Unbride’s husband and his demands for the wedding. He titled the post “Ungroom or Groomzilla? You Decide.” So, I read through it, expecting to hear some crazy demands, but in reality, all of his requests were reasonable.
The post got me thinking about my own wedding and invovling the groom. I’m definitely no bridezilla and I want my FI to be 100% involved as much as he wants to be. Of course, he doesn’t care about some of the finer details, but I made it very clear to him that I want his honest opinion about things. He actually does not really have any demands.
And, because he doesn’t really have any demands, I asked him if he was okay with me making all of the decisions (with his feedback, of course). His response was that he has full faith in the ideas I come up with. But, I still make it a point to ask him about the bigger details and his opinions. He definitely dishes the feedback. If it isn’t positive, we find a solution to make it work or find a new idea. Just in case you don’t believe me, here are some examples:
1. He loves the stationary/invitation suite/paper goods I have designed for the wedding. It took a lot of tweaking, but we are both extremely happy with the design.
2. My initial ideas for the reception decor did not sit well with him, so I scoured the web until I found some fantastic centerpiece inspiration photos. About two weeks ago, we came to an agreement on our reception decor, and again could not be more excited about it (especially since we came up with some awesome concepts without using florals).
3. Asking my Aunt to officiate –> That was an easy one. We both wanted someone we knew to perform it, and knew she’d be a perfect fit.
I absolutely love that he is willing to be very honest about the ideas I come up with. He is not afraid to tell me if he doesn’t like something. In fact, about a week ago, we were dicussing the above reception centerpiece ideas (which include paper lanterns), and the first inspiration photos I pulled he definitely did not like. He said it looked “too Chinese,” in which he meant, it looked too much like a Chinese-themed wedding, which we weren’t going for. Of course, I initially loved the concept, but was taken aback by his honesty. So I took a step back, and started my search again to find something we could both agree on. Voila! It happened.
I know there are plenty of grooms out there who could care less, but I still think it is important to involve them as much as possible. Even if it means assigning them tasks like looking for the DJ/Band, booking the honeymoon, etc. There are plenty of ways to get them involved in some way, and since the wedding is about both of you, I really believe it’s important to involve him as much as you can without putting him on wedding overload.
Do you plan on involving your groom or are you taking full creative/planning control?