landlocked bride® | midwest + mountain west wedding inspiration

Back in October I had posted about making a statement, accessories for the big day. This time around, we’re going to focus on the men! These days it seems as though men have just as many options as women in terms of making a statement with their neckwear. Different colors, different patterns – even the option of combining different tie shapes within the wedding party. These guys really have me impressed (or perhaps it’s the brides I should applaud).

Aaron Shintaku Photography via JL Designs

Jen Fariello Photography via Elizabeth Anne Designs

Mark Brooke Photography via Green Wedding Shoes

T Law Photography via Wedding Obsession

Concept Photography via Occasions Online

Jagger Photography via Green Wedding Shoes

Allison & Chris Britton Photography via United With Love

The men should have just as much fun as the women do when picking out their day-of attire, don’t you agree?

I’ve worked in the wedding industry long enough to know the guys don’t get much love. Especially when it comes to what to wear on the big day. And, color? That’s another topic I could ramble on about given most couples don’t take enough risk. I know, I know.  A matter of opinion, but it’s true. Until then, I’ll leave the guy advice up to Tyler. Find out how to best dress your guys and build the perfect color story for your big day. – Brit

After choosing the perfect gown, the bride tasks her groom to set out for his and his groomsmen’s clothes comporting with their agreed upon color schema. Easy enough, right?  Suits and tuxedos are just that – suits and tuxedos.  Tuxedos are black. Suits are black, grey, navy blue. Maybe shades of grey and blue, but that’s easy (for this exercise, anyway).  Then comes down to the ties and/or vest.  In an effort to simplify, many wedding parties pursue a monochromatic theme.  The bridesmaids wear color X, and so it naturally follows that the groomsmen wear matching color X.  Closer and closer to the date of the wedding, almost to the point of panic, the challenge of finding a matching tie/vest for the groomsmen to accompany the bridesmaids’ dresses has proven nearly impossible! But WHY?!

As a veteran luxury men’s clothing retailer, I have witnessed the above scenario time and time again.  The reason for this difficulty is simple:  Each retailer has either released the current year’s collections with different color stories or if the color story is similar, the dye lots or shade variances do not match up.  There is almost a guarantee of this mismatch once you cross retailer lines.  The question becomes, “How can we avoid this?”

Counter to the “convenient” advancement of a color-matching scheme, we look to complements.  In my previous post, I alluded to the analogy of a bouquet of flowers.  Imagine your wedding party… My bet is that everyone is of different shapes, sizes, skin tone, hair color, etc.  In fact, I guarantee it.  The aesthetically pleasing and fanciful floral arrangement is rarely multiples of one flower or one color, rather, many different types of flowers and complementary colors.  This natural diversity is in and of itself beautiful.  In men’s wedding fashion, ties (bow ties or long ties), cumberbuns, vests, and suspenders may all be utilized in some form as accents of color. Perhaps, you seek to rival the equally vivacious bridesmaids dresses giving rise to an even more bombastic couple.  Or perhaps, in contrast, you desire the groomsmen to project a more subdued and supportive role to the groom himself.  This can all be achieved through color variety

Pobke Photography

The key in this grand scheme is to find suitable color complements to not only each other but to our surroundings.  As an associate, I like to ask a lot of questions so that I may ascertain a good color story.  What time of the day is the ceremony? Will it be inside? Outside?  Is it rural? Urban?  On a beach?  What color is the sand?

Jill Thomas Photography

By seeing the bigger possibilities, we can capture the essence of a truly stunning occasion as well as making it all the easier to plan.

So, I’m pretty excited about today’s post. I can’t take any of the credit for it – that all goes to my friend, Tyler. The “first look” planning and day-of attire is almost always planned by the bride; rarely is the groom involved. So, I love Tyler’s take on the first look, and I’m hoping to see some of you grooms play a bigger role in what you wear.

This is my first post as a guest writer on Landlocked Bride. In my particular case, I would be a Landlocked Groom, though, I am far away from planning my big day. I have, however, provided wedding fashion consulting primarily for grooms in concert with their leading ladies for nearly 5 years now. I stumbled upon this very rewarding opportunity as a retail sales associate at various men’s luxury clothing stores that served as destination spots for formal wear, and have worked with parties boasting 2 to 12 groomsmen.

Some men walk confidently into the store with a firm idea of what they would like to wear on their wedding day. Others do not and bring their fiancés to help provide direction. The former men ultimately do seek permission from their brides-to-be in their final purchase. One thing is uniform – the decision for men’s clothing comes down to that of the bride. Pardon me if I may respectfully ask, but when did brides’ become experts on men’s tailored clothing?

Max Wanger via Joanna Goddard 

You, brides, know that you wouldn’t for a second bring your man along when trying on dresses nor would you solicit his input on your final decision. Tradition would have it that you will surprise him the day of your wedding. You may have even dreamt of your ideal wedding well before you met the love of your life. And now with the accessibility of mood boarding sites like Pinterest and Polyvore, you have become your own wedding consultant. Kudos to you. Many men take a back seat to planning (whether by choice or design) and it is up to you and your parents. You do have a hard task ahead of you – one that may take months if not a year to plan. Remember though, at the end of the day, he will be wearing the clothes during the wedding, photos and the reception. So if there is one area where you might take a little pressure off of yourselves, try delegating the men’s clothing decisions to him.

Now, I, your writer, am not naïve to the risky decision you have made entrusting him to look the part while ultimately contributing to the fate of your wedding day photos. What lasts more than the ceremony? … The Photos! Many men might feel significant performance anxiety at the challenge; others may welcome it. But here is an opportunity to have fun with your wedding and to create a very exciting first look – for the both of you.

Sean Money + Elizabeth Fay via Style Me Pretty

To reiterate, I am aware you have set out to take part in a perfect wedding and throwing caution to the wind is not the first idea that comes to mind. So the biggest step is letting go. Your question to me is likely: How will I know that he and his groomsmen will not ruin my dream wedding? Good question. You don’t. This is where a friend/family member with whom you confide or a certified wedding planner comes into the picture. This individual will serve as a neutral party with your strictest confidences. They will have the implicit task of making sure your clothing decisions do not clash but rather compliment much like an assortment of flowers in a bouquet. I like to call this Wedding Wardrobe Insurance. All the meanwhile, they will maintain the secret wardrobe despite your prying – my eye is on you, brides!

Can you imagine your first look now? Is it more powerful? Seeing him for him and being surprised by his sartorial splendor…

I love the idea of a good suit for a wedding. Unless you’re having a black-tie affair.

But right now, I’m really in love with the idea of a good pair of slacks and a vest. This look is just too adorable, and just perfect for our wedding (although the FI isn’t feeling it). We are having the guys buy suits, though. Much more economical decision, which they were all receptive, too. I knew I really loved his friends

Once Wed

This is a great style that is becoming more popular. It’s great for a more relaxed wedding.

I recently read a post by the Unbride’s husband and his demands for the wedding.  He titled the post “Ungroom or Groomzilla? You Decide.”  So, I read through it, expecting to hear some crazy demands, but in reality, all of his requests were reasonable.

The post got me thinking about my own wedding and invovling the groom.  I’m definitely no bridezilla and I want my FI to be 100% involved as much as he wants to be.  Of course, he doesn’t care about some of the finer details, but I made it very clear to him that I want his honest opinion about things.  He actually does not really have any demands.

And, because he doesn’t really have any demands, I asked him if he was okay with me making all of the decisions (with his feedback, of course).  His response was that he has full faith in the ideas I come up with.  But, I still make it a point to ask him about the bigger details and his opinions.  He definitely dishes the feedback.  If it isn’t positive, we find a solution to make it work or find a new idea.  Just in case you don’t believe me, here are some examples:

1.  He loves the stationary/invitation suite/paper goods I have designed for the wedding.  It took a lot of tweaking, but we are both extremely happy with the design.

2.  My initial ideas for the reception decor did not sit well with him, so I scoured the web until I found some fantastic centerpiece inspiration photos.  About two weeks ago, we came to an agreement on our reception decor, and again could not be more excited about it (especially since we came up with some awesome concepts without using florals).

3.  Asking my Aunt to officiate –> That was an easy one.  We both wanted someone we knew to perform it, and knew she’d be a perfect fit.

I absolutely love that he is willing to be very honest about the ideas I come up with.  He is not afraid to tell me if he doesn’t like something.  In fact, about a week ago, we were dicussing the above reception centerpiece ideas (which include paper lanterns), and the first inspiration photos I pulled he definitely did not like.  He said it looked “too Chinese,” in which he meant, it looked too much like a Chinese-themed wedding, which we weren’t going for.  Of course, I initially loved the concept, but was taken aback by his honesty.  So I took a step back, and started my search again to find something we could both agree on. Voila! It happened.

I know there are plenty of grooms out there who could care less, but I still think it is important to involve them as much as possible.  Even if it means assigning them tasks like looking for the DJ/Band, booking the honeymoon, etc.  There are plenty of ways to get them involved in some way, and since the wedding is about both of you, I really believe it’s important to involve him as much as you can without putting him on wedding overload.

Do you plan on involving your groom or are you taking full creative/planning control?