landlocked bride® | midwest + mountain west wedding inspiration

plan a modern wedding in the middle of the country

Seems like it is the number one question on most couples’ minds these days.  Especially in a time when couples are really having to watch their budgets.  Should you really include plus ones?  I got the inspiration for this post from Emily over at Southern Weddings Magazine.

Just as she shares Ms. Post’s feelings on the subject, I am doing the same:

“The spouses, fiances/fiancees, and live-in partners of guests must be included, even if you don’t know them.  But you get to decide if you want single, unattached guests to bring dates.” (Etiquette, 17th Edition, page 572)

The truth is, sometimes, it is awkward when you attend a wedding alone.  That is, unless you are there with a bunch of your single friends.  If you are trying to cut out the plus ones of your guest list, try completely re-evaluating your guest list.  Obviously the easiest way to save money is to cut the guest list.  Try including just those people who truly mean the most to you, and include their plus ones if they are single.  It’s a sticky situation, and if that is the route you truly want to go, at the end of the day, it is your wedding.  So do not let someone else’s opinion impact yours if you are set on a decision.

And, there are other ways to cut down on budget if you really want to include those plus ones for your guests.  Opt for a buffet instead of a seated dinner, or even food stations.  Go for a DJ instead of a band.  Choose beer and wine with a signature cocktail instead of a full bar.  There are ways to work around it – you just have to get creative!

And, I’d click over and read Emily’s post when you get a chance, as she offers some great insight.  Plus, they feature several etiquette posts from Emily periodically.


  1. This is always a tough one. We opted not to do plus ones b/c of the budget and the size of our guest list. However, most of our single friends (which there are quite a few) are down to party single and have fun… so that also helped make the no plus one an easier decision. If there were only a few singles, i think i’d definitely not want to make them feel awkward and let them have a plus one.

    Ultimately its all about what you can afford and what you can do for your friends 🙂

  2. Landlocked Bride
    2:33 pm on January 7th, 2010

    @AmyJean I definitely think it is a wedding-by-wedding decision. The couple really needs to decide what works best for them and their budget. It does become a really tough decision at the end of the day! And, thanks for the blog love!

  3. […] is in follow-up to yesterday’s blog post regarding plus […]

  4. We let everyone bring a plus one. Although some people still came on their own. It’s polite!

  5. Although, our wedding wasn’t a by the head $$ type of dinner. If it was I am sure it would be a much harder decision.